her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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