Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
