i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
