i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
