thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize