You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
