just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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