I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize