He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
