What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Two words: nipple clamps
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