do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
