i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
