ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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