all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
