it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
