If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
