I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
