you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
