dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
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