he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
