My brain says no but my pants say off.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
ttyl tear gas
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
