After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
