everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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