Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
