he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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