she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
His nipple licking is glorious
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