normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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