I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
