i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
