Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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