I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
please come you make the beer taste better
handjob tips. give me some.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
