Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
