I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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