tell your sister to shave her snatch
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize