Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
