i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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