i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
