bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
