You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
