White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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