she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
