yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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