Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
