I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
