So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
