I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
