You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
