If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
