morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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