Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
