I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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