Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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