the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
