4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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