I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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