I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
