HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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