You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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