I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
