May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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