i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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