i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
