Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize