she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
